


Ten Days of Heaven and Hell.

by whiteknuckles



Category: Tegan and Sara (Band)
Genre: F/F, quincest, quinlove
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 02:39:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12644457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteknuckles/pseuds/whiteknuckles
Summary: Tegan wishes she could control the feeling in her gut every time she looks at her sister, but maybe Sara wants her to lose control.When Sara decides to spend a few days at her sister’s apartment in Vancouver, and finds out things about Tegan, and about herself, she decides to wear her emotions in her sleeve, not thinking about the future, just enjoying their 10 days of a little heaven.





	Ten Days of Heaven and Hell.

Day 1.

Tegan felt sick to her stomach, she sat next to the toilet seat in her Vancouver apartment, looking out the open bathroom door, just to see grey buildings through her pale yellow tinted windows. She felt numb, everything around her dissipated and in that moment she wished she could stay there, laying in the floor alone for the eternity, but this thought brought her back to the sick reality, which only made her lean over the toilet and throw up again. 

After a few minutes of making sure that her body didn't want to keep trying to push her insides out, she stood still and took a deep breath, looking at the ceiling. She brushed her teeth, she didn't want her sister to notice she had been throwing up the day she was supposed to come over.

Sara was coming over... T looked forward and dreaded every time her sister wanted to spend some days out of Montreal. This time Sara had called two days before, telling Tegan that she had already booked a flight, and Tee wasn't expecting that. She was having bad days, her mind trying to auto destruct. She wasn't ready to spend some days with her twin, but what excuse could she make up this time?

*********

Tegan wasn't in the mood to eat, but again, when was she in the mood to eat? Nevertheless, she forced herself to eat a cereal bowl. 

She wanted to feel better, she tried to promise herself she would forget about everything that's been bothering her for... days... months... years... it didn't matter how long she had felt like this, Sara would come and make everything better, and, if Tegan got lucky, Sara wouldn't ask about the bags under her eyes, or the bruises on her knees. 

**************

Tegan woke up sweating and panting, she had had another wicked dream, the kind of dreams that made her sick of herself and the emotions hiding in her brain, a dream like the one that made her throw up earlier in the morning. She reassured herself, saying that everything was fine, that she was fine, trying to actually believe those statements by saying them out loud.

After a few minutes of deep breathing, her surroundings got clearer, she had fallen asleep in her couch after putting the empty cereal bowl away. She had only slept a few hours the night before, and the reason... the reason were those dreams, she was scared that every time she fell asleep, her darkest fantasies came to life, and she hated them, she hated herself, and she hated her.

Her phone started ringing on the coffee table in front of where she was seating, she picked up.

"Hello"  
"Tegan? I'm in the front door"  
"Sar? You're early"  
"No, sleepyhead, I said I was going to be here by 4"  
"Yeah sure, give me 5 minutes and I'll get you"

Tegan hung up and stared at her phone for a few seconds looking at the time, 15:58, her sister never failed to be at least two minutes early. She walked towards her bathroom mirror and made sure she looked okay, or at least somehow decent. She applied some powder foundation, trying to hide the dead-like color of her cheeks and managed to look like a living person again.

"You're okay, it's okay" she said to herself before closing the bathroom door. Those words had become important to Tegan's everyday life, she recited them anytime it felt necessary, she needed them like a fish needs water.

Tegan closed her apartment door and pressed the elevator button, when she was going down she promised herself to forget, just forget about everything.

"Finally, I'm gonna freeze out here you bitch" Sara's giggle immediately caused a smile to appear in Tegan's face, the first genuine smile in a long time. Tegan opened the building doors and her sister automatically hopped into her arms. They hugged tightly for a few seconds. "I missed you Tee" Sara said as they pulled away from the hug. 

"I've missed you too" Tegan felt relieved, her sister was finally here, and everything was going to be okay "let's go up, let me help you" she grabbed one of Sara's suitcases and led her to the elevator doors. 

The doors opening in front of them both, made Tegan regret not tidying up her apartment before Sara arrived, she tried to apologize for the mess, but Sara brushed it off, at the end it was no big deal, when they were finally together.

"You know... sometimes I regret moving so far away from you, but if we lived closer, I probably wouldn't be half as excited as I am now" Sara said, making Tegan chuckle

"If we lived closer, you'd spend half of the time at my apartment, and I'd probably spend the other half at yours" they both shared a laugh "but I agree, it's best for you that we live far from each other, that forces you to actually go out of the house at least once a week, you hermit" Tegan teased her sister, earning a light slap on her arm

"But now that I'm here for an undefined time, you're obligated to get groceries for both of us, so I don't have to get out of that couch" Sara stated with a cheeky grin 

"Who told you that huh?" Tegan questioned, raising an eyebrow

"You buy the groceries and I cook, and I know you can't turn down this deal because you love my casserole, and basically everything I cook" 

"Fair enough" Tegan concluded

They decided to seat in the apartment's balcony and catch up with everything they couldn't tell each other over text. They talked for hours about everything that was up in each of their lives. Tegan's stomach started growling just after the sun had set, suddenly she remembered that the only thing she had eaten was that small bowl of Cheerios in the morning. She tried to ignore her stomach's demands because she didn't want to end the talk with Sara, but the growls got louder with every minute.

"I can cook something for us both if you're hungry, which seems like you are" said Sara 

"I've got some rice and shrimps, maybe you can cook that amazing Chinese rice of yours" T suggested, and Sara nodded

"Can I shower first though? I haven't showered since yesterday, I'll leave the rice cooking while I clean myself up" they stood up and went back inside the apartment

"Yeah sure, Sar. Let me find you a towel and you can borrow all my toiletries" Tegan said as she walked in opposite direction to her sister who was going to the kitchen to start cooking the rice, she guessed.

Tegan entered her bedroom and sat on the bed for a second, she needed to eat something, or she'd probably faint. 

She reached for a towel on top of her closet, and walked back to the kitchen, where Sara was standing in front of the sink with her hands placed on the counter, looking outside of the window, admiring Vancouver's night lights. Tegan's stomach flipped at the sight of her sister's butt, covered in navy blue skinny jeans. She shook her head, trying to dissolve the though, and ignoring the overwhelming feeling on her lower abdomen.

"Umm, here's your towel" she nervously called her twin, forcing a little smile

"Thanks! Can you keep an eye on the rice? If I'm not out of the shower in 10 minutes please just turn the heat off, ok?" Sara asked sweetly

"Yeah, I'll make sure it doesn't set on fire" Tegan assured Sara as she walked out of the kitchen. 

As soon as she heard the shower turn on, Tegan let out a deep sight, she thought having Sara over for a few days was going to be easy, and it was going well at first, but when she entered the kitchen and saw Sara from behind, she couldn't help the thoughts that flooded her mind. And she knew she couldn't just be throwing up randomly, like she normally did when she had those kind of thoughts, because Sara would worry, and ask questions she couldn't give answers to. So she toughened up, and decided she wasn't going to be weak, she could cry her eyes out when Sara was sleeping. 

Ten minutes passed by and Tegan turned off the heat, as Sara told her, then she sat again on one of the kitchen chairs, checking social media while waiting for Sara to come back. She heard hurried steps getting near the kitchen and raised her head, Sara entered the kitchen almost running, with a towel in hand, glancing at the pot with the rice, and letting out a relieved sight.

Tegan got lost in her sister's body again, she was wearing wide pijama pants that made her hips look even better, and a sleeveless pink shirt with spaghetti straps, Tegan thought she looked like an angel, even in sleeping clothes, everything she was wearing complimented her body in the best ways, at that moment she felt privileged for being able to look at Sara. The bliss left as soon as Tegan remembered who she was checking out, her own twin sister.

She wanted to throw up in that very second.

"Thanks for actually paying attention to the rice, miss" Sara clapped, congratulating Tegan, and also waking her from the slight daydream she had fallen in

"Oh, yeah, very funny Sara" Tegan said sarcastically while squinting, which made Sara laugh. 

The next minutes passed in complete silence, Sara started cooking the rest of the things that were going to be on the rice, while Tegan just sat there, casually looking up from her phone to glance at Sara's back. The silence tortured Tegan with her own thoughts, she shouldn't be having those thoughts, but what could she do to stop them?, she had tried everything to stop thinking about the woman in front of her, and god, her fondest wish was for it to stop.

"It's ready!" Sara's sudden scream interrupted Tegan's thoughts again, thankfully. She started serving the rice in plates and brought them to the table. They ate in silence, the only thing you could hear were the occasional groans coming out of Tegan's mouth when she tasted the food, she sure loved her sister's cooking, that was one of the few things she was actually looking forward to in the next few days.

After they finished dinner, Tegan started washing the dishes while Sara mumbled a song behind her, she tried to identify the song but the name didn't pop in her mind, although she had heard it a couple of times on a playlist, the lgbt playlist on Spotify. She decided that she would listen to the song later, when she couldn't sleep.

**********

"Should we go out tomorrow... I mean since you don't know Vancouver and all the nice places here..." Tegan suggested, she was sitting on the floor while Sara laid in the couch 

"Oh no, I don't fancy going out, I'd rather spend all the days in the apartment with you, that's basically the reason I'm here, and I don't want to waste time that I can spend with you. You could rent some movies though" the words that came out of Sara's mouth could go unnoticed in any other situation, but Tegan immediately over analyzed them, Sara wanted to spend all her time in Vancouver next to her. She shouldn't get her hopes up, her sisters request is like any other, Tegan couldn't help but create scenarios in her head, other ways to spend the time with her sister...

Reality hit her, Sara would never want to mess with Tegan in that kind of way, she assumed, but she couldn't stop the fantasies, they were killing her. Suddenly Tegan started to get hot, her thoughts were against her, she started to blush in front of Sara.

"Oh, wh- what kind of movies would you l- like me to rent" Tegan struggled to say those words, she was having trouble controlling the heat on her lower abdomen.

"idk what kind of porn you're into, I usually go for bondage though..." as the words left Sara's mouth, Tegan's eyes opened wide, she couldn't help but imagine her sister moaning in front of a screen, with one hand down her underwear. She didn't know Sara was into that kind of stuff. "I'm joking, you idiot, stop kink-shaming me, erase that look on your face. Just rent whatever movie you'd like, maybe a comedy" Sara laughed at Tegan's red face, which helped release some of the tension created.

"Oh, ok, I'll go tomorrow and pick some of my favorites… not a porno"


End file.
